The only thing worse than Christmas is a collapsed lung. A collapsed lung is said to be the most painful condition imaginable. Apart from pleurisy.
Okay, so there are two things worse than Christmas.
At Christmas, for some reason, the two-legged dogs suddenly mistake you for a Christmas tree.
The only consolation is that Barbra Streisand looks worse. Like a €0.10 Parisian streetwalker:
Roll on pleurisy.